I HATE this term. Emotional eating. I feel like it implies I’m an incompetent and mentally ill boob that can’t function in life without the crutch of overeating. It makes me feel like person who is so immature emotionally that they can’t deal with the everyday problems life throws at me without damaging my health and psyche with overeating.
As I was reading an article today where the writer was extolling the necessity for dieters to learn to overcome this most terrible of ills – emotional eating – he went on to describe the symptoms of emotional eating as “overcome cravings, food addictions, self-image issues and other self-sabotaging behavior”.
Overcoming cravings, food addictions, self-image issues and other self-sabataging behavior. Isn’t that different than emotional eating? It sounds different to me. Maybe it’s just a trivial difference, semantics, but it feel like a monumental difference to me. Emotional eating makes me feel like I’m being accused of being someone who is overly emotional and that sounds close to someone who a tad emotionally unstable. I’m not like that. I’m reasonable. I’m functional. I am pretty emotionally mature, I think.
Now, being someone who has to overcome cravings, food addictions, self-image issues and other self-sabotaging behavior (I’ll keep using the American spelling since that was in the original quote, but my Canadian heart wants to change it to ‘behaviour’ 
), well, that’s not the same thing. Those are behaviors, habits and ways of thinking that I need to work on. *That*, I’ll buy into. Yes, I’ve had to make many shifts in how I think about myself and my environment and my relationship with food during this last five years.
There is so much stigma already associated with obesity and overweight in today’s world. Do we have to imply that those struggling with those issues are mentally defective as well? I do have behaviours (oh, I can’t help it, it just types itself that way) that I need to change and needed to change to be successful at losing weight and keeping off. But the ex-smoker had to change certain behaviours, too, as did the reformed drinker, as did the guy who works too hard and has to cut back after a heart attack, as did the new parent that had to give up their old partying ways to take care of their child, as did the timid employee as they had to learn to stand up for themselves in the corporate world. That’s life. We find we have developed behaviours that no longer work for us and we have to change them. That’s *not* an emotional problem.
The point the author was trying to make, that changing our diet alone, adding exercise, is not enough to guarantee success, is a good one. We have to root out and find the behaviours that make it too easy to revert to our old ways. We have to find out how to de-stress without ice cream. We have to figure out how to deal unsupportive family. We have to learn how to recognize we are on the wrong path and get back on the right one quickly. These may be processes with an emotional component, but they don’t mean we have an emotional deficiency or incompetency.
The terminology of “emotional eating” bugs me so much that I actually stopped reading that article to come write this. I’m going to have to go back and finish the article, just because it’s probably got some interesting info that I’ll be able to pick out of it, but how many people read the article and bought into the assumption that there is something emotionally wrong with them and finished the article, not empowered to make a change, but feeling beaten down by the implied message that they have emotional problems?
Hmmm…this is deep. And so timely. I’ve been wondering why I usually can’t eat under stressful situations, but when I write – and ONLY when I write (i.e. the book, a freelance peice for money and under deadline, etc.) – do I WANT to eat. It’s like if I don’t have something in my mouth at all times, I can’t think or type. I get almost frantic sometimes and I have to literally stop what I’m doing, calm down and think, “OK, Lynn, you do not have to eat anything right now. You’re not hungry. You’re just stressed.” God, it drives me crazy sometimes.
So is this emotional eating or is it a craving? I can’t seem to put my finger on it. All I know is that I have to fight like hell every time I write to not eat.
Now last night as I watched the election returns, all I could eat for dinner was asparagus. That’s it. I couldn’t eat anything else if I tried. Ugh….I’ll never figure this out. But maybe that’s the beauty of this “flaw.” It will forever be my teacher.
Wow, that was rambling. Thanks for listening, though! LOL
Ramble away! I always find it helps me find answers.
It’s not that I think that there is no such thing as emotional eating. I definitely get hungry or cravey when I’m stressed. My feeling is that this is normal though, not some character flaw I need to fix. Others smoke, drink, shop or yell at their kids when they are stressed. Some do yoga, go for a walk or take a bubblebath. Good or bad behaviours, we all deal with stress in our own way. If I can deal with stress by eating a bit more, but have the presence of mind to make it a healthy food choice, I don’t think that’s a terrible choice, at least not for me.
I do agree with the difference between behavior and emotion.
I often wonder how much of it is habit.
When I sit in this chair – I eat – because that is where I have eaten before.
When I type, quilt, drive, watch TV – I eat – because that is just what I do when I type, quilt, drive, watch TV.
Doesn’t it seem like many of US are creatures of habit?
I suppose I could take that a step further and say – when I am full of anxiety – I sit in this chair, and when I sit in this chair – I eat. And I suppose somewhere – someone would say that was emotional eating – but like you – it doesn’t seem like it to me. . .
Using the same chair example – I do know that for myself – I went through a long stage (when I was working on only eating at meal time – and that was 5-6 small meals a day) where I literally would have to put myself in the bath tub until I knew I could trust myself to not eat until the next meal. This sounds ridiculous now – because with 5-6 meals a day – the next meal was always right around the corner. But the habit of not putting something in my mouth constantly was HARD for me to break. So, I literally would take off my clothes and sit in the hot tub until I could either wait – or it was so long that it was actually time to eat again. . .